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conservative springfield
conservative springfield
conservative springfield
conservative springfield
conservative springfield
Look Folks,
It’s not just
about
smokers,
it’s about
the
constant erosion of our personal freedoms for our own good. In the words of Ronald Reagan, “We don’t want a government that protects us from ourselves.” If you care about personal freedoms, “and we know you do” visit the good people at Illinois Smokers Rights. Get involved. CS.
Folks, if
you want
to see
conservatism expressed clearly, intellectually and concisely you must visit Anne at Backyard Conservative. You won’t be disappointed. CS.
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Get in there and yap, visit politcal forum and get it off your chest....above
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Travis Posts
ISLAM: The Religion of Peace
Vacation Bible School
Heritage Freewill Baptist Church. July 14-18.
6:00-8:30 P.M.
3466 S. Douglas, Springfield, Illinois
Click here to add text.
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Here at Conservative Springfield we want to help. Why? Because we care, we care more than you. And, we know rock rib conservatives want to increase their carbon footprint; after all, as my wife keeps telling me, size matters. So once again we get on our white horse and come to the rescue. We’ve updated our carbon insensitive list to include various suggestions that will make you the envy of your conservative brethren and really tick off your liberal neighbors. Trust us, we’ve done our homework and with just a little effort you to can boost your carbon footprint to proportions unimaginable. So, get that printer fired up and get ready to do what you can to destroy the environment, after all, if nature could kill you, it would.

1.You know, we all have that brother in-law, the one that will do anything for beer money and usually these rednecks are fairly skilled with tools. We’re just saying, for a twelve pack of Bud Light, Cletus will gladly remove the muffle and catalytic converter from your smoke belching SUV. And here’s the best part, not only will you cruise around your neighborhood belching an inordinate amount of harmful CO2 and pet killing black smoke, your neighbors windows will rattle from the excessive noise, a twofer.
2.Alright, this next idea will make you death penalty opponents just happy as hell, temporarily. We are totally against the death penalty, as it is currently configured. Lethal injection is cruel and unusual punishment, it just is. Why? I’ll tell you why, it is cruel for the victim’s family to let these scumbags die without pain. So let’s kill two birds with one stone, we can increase our carbon footprint and comfort the families of these innocent victims by bringing back ole sparky, that’s right the electric chair. Just how much of a carbon footprint could we enhance with 250,000 volts coursing throw the body of some child molester or wife killer. I’m thinking this could be a pay per view event.
3.Alright, admittedly I stole this idea from Mark, yet brilliance should be copied and expounded upon. Hey, we’ve all got a yard to mow, here’s what we do, mow it every single damn day, even in the winter. Stay with me here, you know that little muffler on the side of your carburetor, for you cowboys, wearing boots, it’s pretty simple, just swift kick that damn thing off. If you’re a flip flop wearer just use a hammer. For extra enjoyment just throw the damn thing into your liberal neighbors yard. You’re mower will now sound like a diesel truck and expound more CO2 into the atmosphere than Rosie O’Donnell trying to have a orgasm with a ball bat hooked up to a chain saw. Hang on, I just got a mental picture of that and had to regurgitate my Ribeye and baked potato.
4.Ditch your pets! Pets compete with livestock for grain. Most pet foods are made exclusively of grain. As you know, cattle flatulence has been named the number one cause of global warming. Make certain cattle feed is plentiful and cheap. After all, hasn’t little, “fluffy” exploited your benevolence enough? Kick your, "lay around the house", do nothing pooch to the curb.
    5. Procreate. More mouths to feed also mean more harmful                 CO2 gasses expelled into the environment. Take time out of your busy T.V. schedule for a little one on one time with your spouse. Wink-wink. After all, most commercials last a full minute.

6. Burn your lawn leaves. Leaf burning not only produces harmful CO2 gasses; it drives your neighbor’s nuts, a Twofer. For the serious conservative, consider burning the leaves right on the tree. Trees scrub the atmosphere of harmful gasses. Get rid of your leaves and those, “do gooder” trees at the same time, after all, if that tree could kill you, it would.    

7. Take up smoking. Someday the American Smoker will have a monument built in their honor. Smokers do the heavy lifting that makes our country great. The bulk of enormous taxes collected from cigarette smokers support health care for our little nippers, the future polluters of our planet, God Bless em. 

8. Buy a bigger car. Not happy with that puny carbon footprint from your 1989 Yugo? Beef up your CO2 output and intimidate your fellow motorists with a boat sized SUV. Stop and start driving is preferable. An added perk; impress your neighbors with that drive to the end of your drive-way to pick up the mail. Now that’s class.   

9. Leave your lights on. We get more questions on this one than any other. So, briefly, we respond. If you have trouble sleeping with the lights on we suggest sun glasses or black spray paint. Nuff said. 

10. Adopt a bum. Stay with us here folks, even filthy bums take in oxygen and expel dangerous carbon gasses. Just try to remember that we’re all in this together. So, every so often, pitch your favorite bum a happy meal. Just slow down and throw it out the window. The longer they live, the longer they breathe.

11. Eat Beans, “self-explanatory”

12. Grill out!  There is nothing like an old fashioned Bar-B-Que outdoors to get those mouths watering. To make your event more carbon offensive, consider using a car tire instead of charcoal.  There is no mistaking that rich aroma and the thick black smoke of a tire on fire.  Break out the marshmallows and make it a family event!

13. Run over an environmentalist. Those know it all poindexters are as fast as rats and almost as smart. You have to be sneaky. Come to a complete stop at the crosswalk. Eye contact is important here. Look your wacko- environmentalist right in the eye, smile wide and wave them across. A wave back means they fell for the bait. When they skip in front of your smoke belching SUV, you’ll know what to do. Double points if you're smoking a cigarette while driving.    
Conservative Springfield. Com 24JUL08    

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Pakistan: Pro-Taliban militants prepare for fresh battle in north-west Karachi, 23 July (AKI) - (by Syed Saleem Shahzad) - Pro-Taliban militants in Pakistan's north-western Swat Valley said on Wednesday that they are preparing for a fresh battle against government forces after a peace deal... Story Here
A German magazine quoted Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Malikias saying that he backed a proposalby presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Sen. Barack Obama to withdraw U.S. troops from Iraq within 16 months. “U.S. presidential candidate Barack Obama talks about 16 months,” he said in an interview with Der Spiegel that was released Saturday. “That, we think, would be the right time frame for a withdrawal, with the possibility of slight changes,” he said. But a spokesman for al-Maliki said his remarks “were misunderstood, mistranslated and not conveyed accurately.” Government spokesman Ali al-Dabbagh said the possibility of troop withdrawal was based on the continuance of security improvements, echoing statements that the White House made Friday after a meeting between al-Maliki and U.S. President Bush.
They meet surreptitiously in bars, restaurants, and private homes. They live in constant fear that they might be discoverd. If they were, it might mean the virtual end to their careers. They never speak of their activities and on those rare occasions they speak to the press, they refuse to give the names of any one else in the group. Who are these folks? Anti-Communist rebels? Freedom fighters from some woebegone dictatorship? Maybe an al-Qaeda cell bent on destroying us? Nope. They're Hollywood conservatives: Story Here
Full Text of McCain OpEd Rejected by The New York Times..Read Here
Much attention has been paid in recent months to the mortgage crisis and the difficulty many Americans face because they bought or built a home they cannot afford. But Americans soon must face a greater crisis: We have a built a government we cannot afford. Three studies published this year put some perspective on just how big our government has grown. Story Here
Amid increasing buzz John McCain will pick a candidate for vice president this week, a source close to former Bay State Gov. Mitt Romney say he is “near the top of a very short list” of Big Mac’s choices.   Story Here
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